This is not a traditional travel guide. It pairs personal observations with practical advice for travelers who would rather see Greece as it is, with rough edges, loose ends, and all. Despite the tone, this guide contains practical planning advice, safety context, and logistical realities intended to help travelers decide whether Greece is right for them.

You have arrived on this page because you are contemplating a voyage to a place called Greece. I must warn you, in the strongest terms, that this is a truly terrible idea, a decision that can only lead to further misery and misfortune. In every book shop, you will, no doubt, find a certain travel guide that shows you images of sun-drenched islands and ancient, crumbling pillars, as if these things were a cause for cheer. They are not. They are, in fact, a cruel joke, a sort of architectural pratfall that one must endure with a grimace.

You see, it is a well-established, if peculiar, fact that some people develop an uncontrollable fascination with “old things” – stones that are crumbling, scrolls that are dusty, or buildings that are quite clearly falling down. My mother-in-law is one such person. Thus, when I stumbled upon the rather tempting, if somewhat suspicious, prospect of cheap flights to Greece a few years ago, it struck me as an opportunity that was perfectly suitable to her particular tastes. The resulting journey, of course, was to be a family affair, including my husband and his parents. Our travels began with a few nerve-wracking days spent driving around the rather famous, and admittedly quite steep, island of Santorini. From there, a ferry transported us to Athens. We explored the considerable collection of old things in this city, but also used it as our central base of operations – a base that allowed for several long and tiring day trips. Such is the nature of family travel: a great deal of rushing about, all in pursuit of relics that are too old to properly object. 

This rushing about, a pursuit that always culminates in some sort of minor or major disaster, led us to Athens’ structurally questionable jewel: The Acropolis. It was here, atop that sun-bleached hill, while admiring a collection of columns that had stood precariously for millennia, that my father-in-law was swiftly and silently relieved of his wallet. And while he dealt with the grim, bureaucratic unpleasantness of this sudden, sickening realization, I was occupied with a problem of a more intimately maddening and appallingly itchy nature. It turns out that Greece is home to a great number of charming, friendly, and utterly unsupervised stray cats, and my decision to spend several blissful, naive moments holding these cuddly critters led to far too many flea bites. These twin calamities – the disappearance of legal tender and the persistent biting of miniature parasitic organisms – were, one might think, sufficient grounds to put an end to our trip. But when traveling with a zealot of “old things,” one is obliged to continue, and so we focused our attention on our surroundings.

Greece, in essence, is a collection of dusty ruins and arid landscapes, all baking under a sun that appears to have a personal vendetta against anyone with pale skin. The so-called wonders of the ancient world are nothing more than a collection of broken stones, a testament to the fact that even the most ambitious projects eventually fall apart. You will be encouraged to visit the Acropolis, a very large hill with a half-destroyed temple on top, and to admire the Parthenon, which is a building so full of holes that it can no longer protect you from the elements, much like a raincoat made of Swiss cheese.

The islands, which are said to be a haven for relaxation, are, in my experience, merely a different kind of unpleasantness. You will find yourself on a small, isolated piece of land, surrounded by a body of water that is both too salty to drink and full of creatures with far too many tentacles. The houses are a dazzling, disorienting white, which is a color that can cause a severe squint and a migraine, two of the many unpleasant experiences you will find yourself enduring. The locals may appear cheerful, but one must remember that a smile can often be a mask for a deep and profound sadness.

The food, I must admit, is an unfortunate distraction. While a person of good sense might find some pleasure in a plate of lamb and a bowl of olives, one must not forget that such fleeting pleasures are often a precursor to a more terrible fate. A full stomach can make one feel complacent, which is a state of mind that bad guys often find ways to exploit.

I must also bring to your attention the matter of mythology. The people of this place have long told stories of gods and monsters, which are little more than cautionary tales disguised as entertainment. They speak of a minotaur in a labyrinth, and if you’re in ancient Greece, this is precisely the sort of destination you are headed for: a confusing and dangerous place filled with things that will be of no help to you at all.

Greece at a Glance

Best Time to Visit

May, June, and September are the sweet spot months. The weather is idyllic, the Aegean Sea is finally warm enough to enter without a controlled breathing exercise, and you won’t have to engage in hand-to-hand combat for a photo of the sunset in Oia.

If you visit in July or August, prepare for the Great Greek Bake-off. Temperatures soar, and the crowds on islands like Mykonos and Santorini become so dense they can be seen from space. 

Conversely, winter is fantastic for exploring ancient ruins in Athens without the photobombers, though you’ll find that most of the famous party islands essentially go into hibernation and close until spring.

Currency

The Euro (€). Greece is a land of fiscal contradictions. While the law now requires almost every business – even a donkey trek operator – to have a card machine, the machines are mysteriously broken just often enough that you should never travel without cash.

Always keep a stash of small bills and coins. You’ll need them for the legendary periptera (kiosks), remote island taxis, and the small, family-run tavernas where the owner prefers the crinkle of paper to the beep of a terminal. 

Tipping is low-pressure; leaving the small change or rounding up a few euros is the standard way to say “the grilled octopus was life-changing.”

Language

The official language is Greek, a tongue so old and storied it feels like every word carries the weight of three millennia of philosophy. The alphabet looks like a math textbook come to life, which can make reading street signs feel like solving a riddle.

Fortunately, English is the unofficial second language of the tourism industry. Most Greeks, especially the younger generation, speak it with impressive flair. However, learning even three words -Kalimera (Good morning), Efcharistó (Thank you), and Parakaló (Please/You’re welcome) – will transform you from a mere tourist into a guest, often resulting in a free shot of mastiha or a plate of watermelon at the end of your meal.

Cost Level

Reasonable (with tourist trap exceptions). Greece offers some of the best value in the Mediterranean. You can feast on a soul-satisfying gyro in Athens for under €5 (or €7–€9 on islands like Mykonos or Santorini) or share a table-full of mezedes and a carafe of house wine for the price of a movie ticket in London.

The caveat: Santorini and Mykonos operate on a different economic plane entirely. In these hotspots, a cocktail can cost as much as a three-course dinner on a less famous island like Naxos or Sifnos. If you stay off the Influencer Trail, Greece remains a place where you can live very well without needing a Herculean bank account.

More Dire Travel Warnings About Greece

It has been my unfortunate duty to read several government documents, the sort of things filled with stern warnings and dreadful advice, and I can now, with a heavy heart, tell you even more about the perils of travel to Greece. One might imagine it is a place of white-washed villas and pleasant sunlight, but the truth, as is so often the case, is far more grim.

• Petty Crime: This is not the sort of delightful pilfering one might read about in a children’s book, but a rather unsettling business. These government advisories speak of pickpockets and bag snatchers who, with a cruel cunning, seem to favor the most romantic places, such as the bustling squares of Athens and the very public transport that promises to take you to safety. They are described as working in groups, like seagulls at a beach picnic, and you would be wise to guard your possessions as you would guard a great secret.
• Terrorism and Political Unrest: While one might be tempted to think of a protest as a harmless gathering, these advisories, with their unsettling candor, warn that such events can turn violent and, worse yet, can cause the sort of disruption that leaves a person stranded, much like a shipwrecked sailor. A strike, they note, can stop a ferry or a train with an abruptness that could leave a Swiss watch wondering what just happened.
• Natural Disasters: Greece, it seems, is a place plagued by wildfires in the summer, which, much like an ill-tempered guest, can arrive without warning and force a swift and undignified evacuation. It is also a place prone to earthquakes, which can make the very ground beneath your feet feel as unsteady as a toddler learning to walk on ice.
• Health and Safety: The advisories speak of drink spiking, which is the sort of thing that can turn a pleasant evening into a terrifying blur. They also mention that in the event of a medical emergency, you may find that help is a long way off, a thought that should fill anyone with a certain amount of dread.

These are just some of the misfortunes that await you in Greece. And although current as I write this, these travel advisories are ever-shifting documents, meaning that you, as a traveler, are in a constant state of uncertainty. You must check these advisories again and again, like a gamer checking for hidden traps in every room. But even then, you will not have peace of mind, for a disaster can strike at any time, in any place, and in any form. To travel is to accept that you are living in a state of suspended dread. 

Here are links to the most current travel advisories from these governments. 

• Government of Canada Travel Advice and Advisories for Greece
• U.S. Department of State Travel Advisory for Greece
• United Kingdom Foreign Travel Advice about Greece

So, as you can see, even the most sober and formal of sources agree that Greece is not a place for the faint of heart. It is a country of layered sorrows, each one more complex and bewildering than the last. Do not say you were not warned, for the warnings are, I am afraid, everywhere.

Practical Realities

Public Transport

In Athens, the metro is a sleek, subterranean museum where you can admire ancient ruins through glass walls while waiting for your train. However, once you leave the capital, the KTEL bus becomes your lifeline. These green and orange coaches are the veins of the country, navigating mountain passes with a nonchalance that will have you clutching your seat. On the islands, the ferry is the ultimate arbiter of fate. A Meltemi wind can kick up at a moment’s notice, canceling all travel and leaving you stranded on an island for three extra days of forced relaxation.

Rental Car Reality

Renting a car is an invitation to engage in a localized version of urban warfare. Street signs are often hidden behind overgrown bougainvillea or simply non-existent, leaving you to navigate by instinct and the occasional roadside shrine. 

You must master the shoulder lane maneuver. On Greek highways, the breakdown lane is actually the slow lane. If someone wants to pass you and you’re going under the speed limit, you are expected to drive halfway into the gravel to let them through. If you insist on staying within the painted lines, you will find a frustrated Greek driver inches from your bumper, gesturing toward the heavens in disbelief at your stubbornness.

Restaurant Timing

The service is “philoxenia” (love of strangers), which means the staff will treat you like family, provided you aren’t in a hurry. Dinner starts late – if you arrive at a Taverna at 7:00 PM, you will be dining alone with the resident cats. The real action begins at 10:00 PM. 

When you finish your meal, do not expect the bill; instead, expect a complimentary plate of fruit or a shot of Mastiha or Raki. To ask for the check is to signal the end of the party, and the waiter will only bring it once they are certain you have reached a state of total caloric surrender.

Bureaucracy

Digital life is a work in progress, a curious blend of ancient paperwork and modern necessity. While you can pay for a gyro with a tap of your card, many island businesses view the machine as a temperamental beast that is currently broken. Always carry Euros. 

Pace of Life

The local guiding philosophy is “Siga-Siga” (slowly-slowly). It is a refusal to let the stresses of the modern world interfere with the sanctity of the present moment. This manifests as the three-hour coffee, where a single Freddo Espresso is nursed with the intensity of a scientific experiment. Do not mistake this for a lack of productivity; it is a cultural realization that the sun is too hot and life is too beautiful to spend it rushing. In Greece, tomorrow is always a better time to do the things you didn’t want to do today.

Popular Destinations (and Why They May Disappoint)

Greece is a land where the beauty is often so overwhelming that it becomes its own form of torment. The sun, a relentless yellow eye, glares down upon everything. The history is so long and so filled with ancient sorrow that it might make you feel as though your own life is a short and insignificant footnote. And the famous Greek hospitality is often simply a clever disguise for someone trying to sell you something.

For those who are, for reasons that can only be described as ill-advised, intent on traveling to Greece, I have compiled a list of particularly distressing destinations:

• Athens is the so-called cradle of civilization, a city so ancient and crumbling it serves as a constant and nagging reminder that nothing lasts. The Acropolis, a great hill topped with a ruined temple, stands as a monument to a greatness that has long since passed, much like a faded photograph of a person who has become dreadfully old. You will find yourself panting and sweating as you climb toward this desolate peak, surrounded by a legion of other panting, sweating tourists, all staring at broken marble and columns that no longer support anything at all.

Read about Athens Highlights and Cautionary Tales of Tourism.

• Santorini is an island so perfectly picturesque it should be a crime. The whitewashed buildings and impossibly blue domes cling precariously to the edge of a great, volcanic crater, as if daring a calamity to befall them at any moment. The sunsets are so famous and so universally adored that to witness one feels less like a special experience and more like a mandatory group activity. You will jostle for space with a thousand other people, all holding up their small, electronic devices to capture the spectacle, a practice which, as you know, can only lead to disappointment.

• Crete is the largest of the Greek islands, and as such, it is a place with the most space for things to go wrong. It is a land of rugged mountains and deep gorges, which may sound adventurous but in truth simply means you will be faced with a great deal of uphill climbing and a constant and nagging fear of falling. Here you will find the ruins of the Minoan civilization, a people who, after building a palace so grand it was called a labyrinth, promptly and with great enthusiasm, vanished entirely. A lesson, if ever there was one.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Visit Crete Island (@visit.crete)

• Mykonos is an island that, I am told, is a haven for those who enjoy music played at an unpleasantly high volume and the company of others who have a great deal of money but very little sense. The windmills, once a symbol of honest work, now stand as quaint backdrops for the sorts of photographs one later regrets. You may be tempted to believe that a life of endless parties is a life worth living, but I assure you, such a life is merely a swift and dizzying descent into a very profound and unsettling loneliness.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mykonos (@mykonos)

• Meteora is a truly baffling location. Towering rock formations, as if dropped from the sky by a confused giant, rise up from the earth, and perched atop them are monasteries, built by monks who had a very strong desire to get as far away from everyone as possible. To reach them, you must climb a dizzying series of stairs, a physical trial which will, I am certain, make you question every decision you have ever made that led you to that particular spot on that particular day.

Who Greece Is (and Isn’t) For

✔️ Good for:

• Devotees of Old Things: Those who have a fascination with ancient ruins, dusty scrolls, and crumbling historical sites like the Parthenon.
• Budget-Conscious Foodies: Travelers looking for high value, such as soul-satisfying gyros under €5 or affordable shared plates (mezedes).
• The Patient and Unhurried: Anyone who can embrace the philosophy of “Siga-Siga” (slowly-slowly) and enjoys the three-hour coffee.
• Off-Peak Explorers: People who visit in May, June, or September to enjoy idyllic weather and warm seas without the hand-to-hand combat for sunset photos.
• Animal Lovers (with caution): Those who find joy in the company of the charming, friendly, and utterly unsupervised stray cats that roam the streets.
• Social Diners: People who enjoy late-night action (starting at 10:00 PM) and philoxenia (hospitality) that often ends with free dessert or drinks.

❌ Not ideal for:

• The Heat-Sensitive: Anyone with pale skin or a low tolerance for a sun that has a personal vendetta and temperatures that reach Great Greek Bake-off levels in summer.
• Anxious Drivers: Travelers who would be stressed by urban warfare, hidden street signs, and the requirement to drive in the breakdown lane to let others pass.
• The Influencer Trail Haters: People who find the crowded, expensive, and picturesque hotspots of Mykonos and Santorini to be a mandatory group activity in disappointment.
• Rigid Schedulers: Anyone relying on ferries (which can be canceled by the Meltemi wind) or government offices with very limited opening hours.
• The Safety-Obsessed: Those who would be distressed by the risk of petty crime (pickpockets), unsteady earthquake zones, or the appallingly itchy reality of flea bites from stray animals.
• Digital-Only Spenders: Travelers who refuse to carry cash; card machines are frequently mysteriously broken, and small bills are required for kiosks and taxis.

Should you still feel compelled to visit this land of shattered myths and merciless sunlight, I can only remind you that you have been warned. And please, do not forget your sunglasses. The glare, like the endless parade of disappointments, is quite unavoidable. I strongly advise you to stay home, perhaps in a well-ventilated room with a good book and a cup of lukewarm, properly filtered coffee. Do not go to Greece. It will only add to your woes, which I am quite certain are already plentiful enough.